Surprise!

A few months back I was struck by the idea of creating a space to follow the local delegates on their journey to becoming Miss New York. Only I wanted to remain anonymous for as long as I could get away with it so there wouldn’t be any pressure to participate in takeovers or highlights! 

Well some of our New York queens started figuring out it was me - your friendly neighborhood grief girl. I was unable to attend state this year for a handful of reasons but the main one being i wanted to study abroad in Ireland which was the biggest dream come true of my academic career. If we’ve never met, allow me to reintroduce myself, I’m Lexy, I’m 25 years old from Western New York. I’m originally from Olean, but moved to Rochester when I was little. Pageants weren’t part of my life until 2020, and my first ever one was virtual! I loved every aspect, and through the years I found my voice. Seriously- I didn’t speak outside of my own home until I was like 20 lol. 

At 13 I was diagnosed with Autism after being given an earlier diagnosis of ADHD. As a teenager i developed anxiety after we lost my Uncle to an overdose. None of my peers had experienced loss of a human relative yet, and I felt so alone. It’s been 9 years since that day and I’ve lost 20+ others since. In those 9 years I created three different service initiatives based around him, our family’s little free library where each book is stamped with his memory is one. My international grief support group is two, and most notably is my Ricky’s Lunches With Love bags. Where brown paper bags are sent from every state to be used for outreach purposes. Sometimes it’s a sandwich, sometimes it’s a pair of socks, but each time it helps save a life in my county. 

Ricky isn’t the only one I honor through my Be The Light inititave, it’s also my Grammy Susan. Her grief was so intense she lost her life to it. Technically it was Lung Cancer but it was accelerated by losing Ricky. To honor Gram I work with Worth More Nation as their National Social Media Director. She spent a lot of her life overcoming trauma, and that’s the mission of WMN. It was a natural fit for me once WMN found me, Founder Sandy scooped up this sad college kid and helped her grow into a confident business owner. It’s been an honor serving behind the scenes, and I truly encourage you all to help support the org! 

Outside of pageantry, I’m a senior at Nazareth University and I spend a lot of time with my kitten Marshmallow Meowholland. She’s the light of my life and I’m convinced she’s my actual child. When I’m not with the kitten, I love traveling especially to my beloved Niagara Falls. I’m a grown up theatre kid and still try to catch a show when I can! I currently am exclusively self employed freelancing social media management and look forward to working full time in Marketing post grad! I love playing Minecraft with my little brother and introducing him to my favorite shows such as Doctor Who and Bones! 

With my advocacy work, Autism and Grief may sound like two different topics, but in my lived experience it’s because I’m autistic that I grieve the way I do. Autism isn’t my CSI, nor has it ever been, but it is part of me I cannot change. At the end if the day I’m here to share the story of my family, and use those experiences to help others feel less alone. I am proof that you can rise above your circumstances, and by turning your grief to action you can persevere. I hope you’ll forgive the secrecy around my identity, I wanted the focus to be on the class of 2026 and not on the girl behind the screen. 

I can’t wait to meet you all at Miss New York 2027, or our 2027 FLUNY local! Until then, we will keep celebrating our new queens, and what you all do post Miss NY. 

All my love, 

Lexy 

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Lexy Hearn is the current Administrator at New York's Sweetharts. You can follow her on their Instagram. She also works tirelessly for Worth More Nation at their Instagram.

This is her first guest blog for Section 36 Forevers.