Photo: Matty Jacobsen
Hi everyone! My name is Hannah Karki, and I am your reigning Teen Petite USA 2024. I am from Essex Junction, Vermont, and I am the first girl to hold the national title in Vermont, and I am the first national title holder Vermont has had since 1955. I wanted to talk to you about my background story with pageants, my background as a person, and what pageants truly mean to me.
I started doing pageants when I was 14 years old. I saw an ad for a pageant and I thought to myself, oh this could be fun! I never imagined my life would flip upside-down in a quick four year period. When I started pageants, I was severely depressed and I hated who I was as a person. I couldn’t look at myself in the mirror and I wouldn’t go anywhere without makeup because I was so deeply insecure about who I was. When I was training for pageants, I had no idea what I was doing or where it was going to lead me, but I wanted to try.
At my first pageant, I didn’t place at all. I would say it is the worst performance I have had in my life, but it gave me the smack in the face I needed to want to come back and try again. I started being coached and I also opened up my incredible non-profit and platform, SafeSpaceSuicidePrevention. Safespace was created from my own experiences of my mental health journey. I think the one thing that stayed consistent when I was depressed is I felt like I had no one to look up to, so I created Safespace as a way for others to open up about their feelings in a Safespace to someone who wanted to help them. It also is a place full of mental health resources, therapists, and guides to mental health. Creating a safe haven for those who were struggling with their mental health is a way of me giving back to those who saved me from feeling alone, and giving me light back into my life.
As Safespace gained traction, so did my pageant career. I worked with companies to create T-shirt drives, field trips and even working as a camp counselor and speaking about my non-profit to give back to my community. While that was happening, I was consistently training for pageants everyday, and hopefully waiting for my turn to be crowned.
I don’t think I realized how deep I was until my last pageant in 2023. This was the last time I competed before I “retired” from pageants. It felt like the world was against me. I had put so much training and hours into my community service, only to place 2nd or 1st. I remember finally placing 3rd place at a pageant, and I gave up. I was so severely depressed in who I was, and I was ashamed of my career and who I was as a person. I felt like I was nothing without a crown. I realized that I needed to take a break for my mental health and physical health, which meant kissing pageants goodbye, (which as you can tell, didn’t happen). 
Photo: Matty Jacobsen
I took a full year off from 2023-2024, my junior to senior year of high school, and let me tell you, I did everything. I tried every experience I could to embrace something new. I tackled a bunch of new different things, I traveled to multiple different places in the country, like Utah and Colorado. I started to learn to follow my heart, and I realized I wanted to be a music teacher. I taught in 3 classrooms my senior year, working as a teacher’s assistant, and worked with students of all different agendas and personalities. I got highlights, (how funny), and got really good at styling hair. I fell in love, became even closer with my friends, and I got back into the groove of loving who I was as a person.
That summer, I learned about the Petite USA system when I flew to Chicago to watch one of my favorite people compete in the national pageant. I was in awe of how all the girls were so happy with each other, and how strong the sisterhood truly was. With a lot of back and forth, I started training again that fall and signed up for the New England Petite Pageant system, for Teen New England Petite.
When the pageant rolled around, I was just doing it to round off my years of competing. I had no idea I was going to win, and when I did, I think I was the most shocked person in the room. Even though I was training, I was training a lot less than I was before, and I also picked a wardrobe that was very simple. My gown that I won in had no sparkle and looked more like a traditional wedding dress. But it showed through who I was, and I won the title Teen New England Petite in March of 2024. 
Photo Nataschas Photography
After I won, I realized I was going to have to compete again nationally. I honestly wasn’t sure if I was good enough to win a national title, so I honestly avoided talking about winning until a month before the pageant with my coach and my director, Leah. I slowly realized that this was my once in a lifetime shot, so I took it.
I trained everyday in heels for swim and gown, and I worked very hard on my onstage question. Me and onstage questions have beef, because usually by the end of the pageant, I am too tired to think of a solid answer to answer the question, so I was really worried the same thing was going to happen to me again. But I worked on it in the month I had, and then got on a plane to Chicago for Petite USA.
I was really nervous going and I had some really chaotic moments while in Chicago. I was going through a recent break up and getting ready to head to college while watching myself transform as a person. I remember sobbing my eyes out after my interview in my hotel room because I was so exhausted from everything happening around me. Whenever I was stressed out, I would go to my directors, Leah and Sarah, and talk with them about how worried I was, and they were always there to listen and hear me when I was at my worst. 
Photo: Nataschas Photography
Once it was finals day, I was so exhausted. I was on three celsius, which I know is very unhealthy, and I was anxiously waiting to see who would make the top 10. I was so nervous about my performance and interview from the previous day, that when my name was called first, I jumped for joy.
Then, I re-competed, and waited patiently to see who made the top 5. By this point, I was exhausted from being up at 4 am for hair and makeup, so I was getting pretty emotional. I couldn’t stop thinking and asking people how I did and if they thought I made it to the top 5.
I remember standing there and hearing my name called for top 5 and almost bursting out into tears because I was so stressed. I had waited 4 years for this moment, and then came the dreaded onstage question. I remember standing there before I heard my question and thinking to myself, oh my god, I don’t know if I can do this. I was so shaky, my legs were crossed underneath my dress, it was a whole situation, but when I heard my question for the second time, I knew exactly what to say. I could feel 12 years old me watching my growth and my journey, and I knew the little girl I was is so proud of the person I am today and that is truly all that mattered.
My journey wasn’t for a crown, it was for self acceptance. It was for feeling like I belonged, and that I was loved, but also that I LOVED myself. And that I was proud of myself. And I was, and I was even more proud when I was called the winner. That moment still is a little bit of a blur to me, but I remember standing there, telling the girl across from me how deserving of the title she was, because she is, and that I would be happy either way, because I would be. My work was done, I was proud of the person I am, and that is all I needed. Then I remember hearing my name and almost falling to my feet. I remember seeing my family’s reaction, my friends at home, and my New England Petite family. I think that was one of the most beautiful moments of my life, knowing I have inspired others to follow who they are, even if the path is murky.
Almost three months later, I have had a lot of side quests as my title. I became an author, with my children's book, “The Fire Within You”, coming out before 2025. I started my own hair styling business, Hannah’s Hot Tools, and started working as a photoshoot assistant. I have been in many parades, supporting the LGBTQ+ community and women empowerment. I work as a partner with Girls on the Run Vermont, going and volunteering at their events. I started modeling for UGC Models and Jimmi Swim, and I work in other volunteer organizations like the Miss Amazing Pageant System, and starting my own Crown Talks for pageants. I also started my first semester at the University of Vermont, studying Music Education as my double major, and added a double minor of psychology and special education. 
Photo: Matty Jacobsen
My one biggest take away from pageants is finding your fire in who you are as a person. Never tell yourself you aren’t enough, because you are truly capable of anything you put your mind to. 14 year old me who battled severe depression still can’t believe that 18 year old Hannah gets to walk in New York Fashion Week with Marc Defang, and travel the country as a national title holder with her sister queens. Your hard work won’t go unseen, I can promise you that. Realizing you already have a crown on your head by competing in a pageant is enough to go a long way. Having the guts to step out of your comfort zone and try something new is a trophy within itself. The journey to who you are can be rocky, weird, and uncomfortable sometimes, but I promise you, it’ll all end up where you want it to go.
Last but not least, I hope you know how loved you are, how strong you are, and how beautiful you are as a person. Never change for anybody else, and if you haven't told someone you love them today and how beautiful they are, send them the kindness and love they deserve and tell them thank you for being in your life.
Thank you for reading my blog! Peace out and with love always,
Your Teen Petite USA 2024 and friend,
Han (Hannah Karki)
