"To Those Still Trapped" by Arianna Shanks-Hill

I have once again heard of more girls targeted by an abuser. More girls were now echoing the statement I’ve been making for years. I respect whatever choices these girls decide to make, as long as those choices are made in the absence of fear.

But, I think there are some things that these girls need to hear; some information only a survivor can pass on.

So, when they are ready, here is what I have to say:

I’m sorry that someone made you think violence is love. It isn’t, and there are people waiting to love you in the way you deserve.

I’m sorry that you felt that silence was safer than speaking out. If you feel like you do not have the courage to stand up and tell your story, you can borrow some of mine until you are ready. 

I'm sorry that your life was changed because of someone else’s actions. You are allowed to grieve the person you were before this, but please remember that this is not the end of your story. 

I’m sorry that the person who was supposed to love you made you afraid. You will feel safety in love & in your own skin again. 

I’m sorry that you feel like you’re broken now. There’s nothing wrong with you, and it won’t feel like this forever. There’s hope on the other side of abuse. 

I’m sorry for all of the insensitive and invasive questions that people ask you. Some of them mean well. Some of them don’t. You’ll learn the difference & you’ll decide what you’re comfortable sharing. 

I’m sorry that you flinch when someone raises their voice. Not all anger is accompanied by a fist. 

I’m sorry that you were manipulated to think that you are unworthy. You deserve the highest form of happiness and the truest form of love. Don’t stop until you find it, but do not always rely on others to give it to you. 

There is nothing you could have done to deserve abuse. There’s never an excuse to harm someone & there is no such thing as earning being harmed.

Suffering does not make you brave, and staying in a dangerous situation is not a testament to your compassion. 

It’s okay if you’re not ready yet, but please don’t spend your whole life in the dark. There is light inside you and a better world waiting. 

I love you. I’m not mad at you for not heeding my warning, or anyone else’s warnings. I know how convincing abusers are. It’s not your fault & you couldn’t have known better. 

You do not have to be afraid to come forward. You are not “ruining someone’s life”, and the only people who will ask for your silence are the ones who would benefit from it. It is not “stirring the pot” or “causing drama” to ask for justice. Their reputation is not your responsibility. 

However, you are under no obligation to come forward. Whatever brings you the most peace & puts you on the path to healing is what you should do. 

I am proud of you. Whether you tell the whole world or you never speak of it again, I am proud of you for existing & leaving and choosing a better life. 

You are not alone. I will stand with you and hold your hand until you feel like you can stand for yourself. I will support you and fight for you and carry you with me as long as you need. 

You have so many people who are here to support you, and it’s okay to let them in. You’re not a burden for needing to lean on people 

Prepare yourself for the reactions that the world will have. Remind yourself that you are not bound to the judgements and perceptions of others. Remind yourself that you are more than a negative comment or a snide remark. Remind yourself that you are worth the fight. 

Some people will love you no matter what you do, and some people will never love you no matter what you do. Go where the love is. Anyone who will not stand by you through this is not someone you want by your side at all. 

You are strong in spite of your abuser, not because of them. You do not have to be grateful that it happened in order to celebrate the person you are becoming. 

You are allowed to be angry, or sad, or upset, or even bitter. Anger is your friend & it wants you to know that you have been mistreated. Just remember that we are not meant to wear anger like a second skin; eventually you have to take it off, and set it down, and figure out what your life looks out without it. 

Forgive yourself for not knowing better until you knew better. Forgive yourself for the habits and traits you picked up during trauma. Forgive yourself for fighting back, or for not fighting back. You cannot shame yourself into healing you can only love yourself into evolving.

All of this is to say that I care about survivors in a way that I wish someone had cared for me. I know from experience what it feels like to be in a position where you’re turning over every stone looking for answers. I know how it feels to wish that someone would tell you what you’re supposed to do, what your life is supposed to look like now. There are plans for what happens if you’re in an abusive relationship. There’s plans for how to get you out. There’s no tangible plan for “after” abuse. So with that in mind, this is what I’ll close with: 

I know in my soul that you are brave enough to walk into the unknown and discover what your life looks like now. It’s going to look different, and that’s okay. I’m here if you need me, or if you need a cheering section, or if you just want to tell someone your story. You will only ever have my utmost admiration, never my pity. I created The Gabby Project for me, but I also created it for you. I’m behind you, and the community that surrounds TGP is behind you regardless of how you choose to move forward.

Embracing Change: Miss Luzerne County Shakira Jackson's Mission to Elevate Civic Engagement in Northeastern PA

(Luzerne County, PA) In the heart of Northeastern Pennsylvania, a beacon of change has emerged, and her name is Miss Luzerne County, Shakira Jackson. Recently adorned with this prestigious title, Shakira brings not only a fresh perspective but also a wealth of knowledge and dedication to her community. Notably, she has recently earned her Masters degree from Georgetown University, a testament to her commitment to continuous learning and self-improvement.

Shakira's educational journey has equipped her with valuable insights that she now channels into her mission for increased civic engagement. Her academic achievements, combined with her grassroots community involvement, form a powerful combination that positions her as a leader poised to make a lasting impact on Northeastern Pennsylvania.

Beyond her academic accolades, Shakira's commitment to civic engagement extends to the establishment of her nonprofit organization, "Uniquely Engaged Citizen." This innovative initiative reflects her vision for a more inclusive political landscape, one where the voices of the younger generation, often underrepresented, can be heard loud and clear.

"Uniquely Engaged Citizen" focuses on finding funding for Gen Z candidates aspiring to run for public office. Recognizing the unique perspectives and fresh ideas that young individuals bring to the table, Shakira aims to break down financial barriers that often hinder their political aspirations. By providing support and resources, her nonprofit aims to empower a new generation of leaders who are passionate about making positive changes in their communities.

As Miss Luzerne County, Shakira envisions leveraging her title and nonprofit to create a synergistic approach towards civic engagement. Through partnerships with educational institutions, local businesses, and community organizations, she plans to amplify the impact of "Uniquely Engaged Citizen" and promote the importance of active participation in the political process.

Shakira's dual role as an educated professional and a grassroots community advocate positions her as a dynamic force for positive change. With her newfound title, advanced degree, and nonprofit venture, she seeks to inspire not only the residents of Luzerne County but also the entire commonwealth of Pennsylvania to embrace civic engagement as a collective responsibility.

Congratulations, Miss Luzerne County Shakira Jackson, on your well-deserved title and the establishment of "Uniquely Engaged Citizen." As you continue to lead by example, Northeastern Pennsylvania looks forward to a future where civic engagement thrives, and the voices of all, regardless of age, background, or circumstance, contribute to the vibrant tapestry of community growth and progress.

May 2024 bring you success and prosperity, along with a wealth of good fortune in your journey at Miss Pennsylvania.

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I can't thank Shakira enough for sharing thisg. You can learn more about her by checking out her interview with us on Section 36.

Happy New Year!

 Happy New Year from Section 36 Forevers!

Looking back on 2023, I'm thrilled with the content and progress of this here blog and could not be more excited about the future. 2022 saw a continuation of the refocus of the blog, and I was really able to grab onto that in 2023, by focusing on the titleholders and really creating a lifestyle blog where titleholders could share their stories.

I constantly honored to be allowed to share so many guest blogs. It's such an important part of what I'm doing here with the "for titleholders by titleholders" sort of feel. It's so wonderful to share the thoughts and views from so many different places.

With the discussion of blogs, I need to give a speical shoutout to Arianna Shanks-Hill. Her powerful series on domestic violence is definitely a must read. This year also included several more from Katelyn Andrist. Her continuing "Committing to Confidence" guest blog series has been a great way to see her expand on her CSI. We've been able to reach so many people together, and I can wait to have that series continue. Hannah Roque was also kind enough to submit multiple post for us this year, which I certainly hope continues.

Beyond that, I was able to share a few "Farewell" blogs from titleholders turning over their crowns, reflections on Miss America Journeys, at appearances, and deep dives into SIIs. It's been so much fun to share so many amazing posts. (Interested in writing one of your own? Feel free to reach out.)

And don't forget the Section 36 store! I love seeing titleholders showing off their favorite merch! Do you have any yet?

There has also been a social media growth! As I hope you're aware, the Section 36 Forevers social media presence is out there. How? I'm glad you asked!
 
Instagram is probably the place I’ve seen the most movement in the past year. It’s been great connecting with fans and visitors through that site. I use that account to post any and all pictures that have been submitted by my interview guests. Maybe they were pictures that went along with their interviews, or extras that couldn’t fit with the interview. Or, they’re pictures that have been submitted after visiting. Whatever the case, I post them and use them to remind people of their visit. It’s fun because it adds a lot of different content to the feed. That account had a big 2023! 

Facebook provides fun opportunities. It posts links to titleholder interviews, as well as any pictures former visitors have submitted. It has also started posting pictures of any titleholders with Section 36 gear, whether they’ve visited or not. The number of people who like that page continued to grow in 2023.

With all those ways to connect with Section 36 Forevers, there should be plenty of ways to share the amazing things my visitors are doing. I can't want to bring that to a much larger scale.

It’ll be a lot of fun. I hope you'll come along for the ride! 

And I hope you'll consider a guest blog!

Gratitude in a Time of Great Expectations by Jude Maboné

Andy Jones

As the year comes to a close and I simultaneously prepare to submit my business school applications and head to Miss America, it would be easy to miss the beauty of my present reality in the whirlwind of stress and emotions that accompany big life events. I am one of fifty-one women who will have the honor of competing at Miss America 2024. Wow. This dream that stemmed from a time in my life where I went to bed thinking each night would be my last is finally realized after nine years and seven “state” competitions.

2023 was the most challenging and transformative year of my life. I entered this year asking God for really big yeses and it feels like He has opened doors for me personally and professionally that I had spent nearly a decade trying to kick down. I knew that I needed my life to change, but the experiences that I’ve had, the people I’ve met and the way my perspective has shifted far exceeds what I’d prayed for. 

Many wonderful things have happened to me, and I feel immense gratitude as I reflect on how much my life has changed since January and the ways I’ve been able to scale my impact. It has been the honor of my lifetime these last six months representing our nation’s capital and the community of people who live here and are often overlooked. I can see the tangible change we’ve made in such a short time providing our most vulnerable neighbors with access to CPR and AED education, and resources for heart healthy living thanks to my partnerships with MedStar Health and the American Heart Association. 

This year was, without a doubt, one of the happiest of my life, but it was also one of the most challenging. I’ve grieved, made tough decisions, and have made many sacrifices. Yet as I reflect, I am reminded that what makes life so precious is that blend of joy and pain. We can simultaneously grieve and celebrate and that’s what makes being human so special. I will carry that sentiment with me to Orlando.

In three weeks, I may or may not become Miss America 2024 and I am content with that. I would love to end the eighty year drought for DC (the last Miss DC to win was Venus Ramey in 1944, only the second Miss DC to win since Margaret Gorman, the first Miss America in 1921), collaborate with Miss America HQ on how to grow the brand (I’m an aspiring brand manager), and have the opportunity to represent the 125.5 million Americans like me who are living with heart disease as Miss America. But I’m also already implementing the impact I want to make now. Miss America aside, I am a leader in my community and am making the world safer and heart healthier every day. I am excited for whomever will earn the honor of being Miss America and feel blessed to be in a position where she will be either myself or one of my new friends.

 

So, as the year ends and I finally have the opportunity to take the stage, I am filled with gratitude, peace, and a healthy dose of humility. I believe that my God has me in His hands and that the outcome will go exactly according to His will and that’s a really satisfying place to be. My focus in Orlando will be to inspire others to relentlessly pursue their dreams, take risks and live in the “today.” 

DC, I cannot wait to represent you on the national stage. Thank you to all who have invested in me to get me to this moment. Orlando, here we come. I’ve never been more ready and I couldn’t be happier. 

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I can't thank Jude enough for sharing her first guest blog. You can learn more about her by checking out her interview with us on Section 36.

Domestic Violence Isn’t Funny by Arianna Shanks-Hill

Last week, in an effort to de-stress, I turned on the new comedy special Netflix recommended. 

The opening joke was a domestic violence joke. I got 5 minutes into this special and immediately turned it off. The point of the joke was to say that a woman being physically harmed was funny; to make a mockery of the dehumanization and degradation that men inflict on women. The comedian even went so far as to claim that if the woman in the joke could cook, she wouldn't have been brutalized as badly. 

I understand that comedy is subjective. I know all about dark humor, and about how sometimes the shock of a punchline is what makes it funny. 

What I think people fail to understand, however, is that it's not okay to poke fun at a demographic that you are not a part of. It’s not okay to use someone else’s experience as the butt of your joke.

Domestic violence is not funny. Abuse is not funny. Harming another living being is not funny. If you have to stoop to a level of making a mockery of something that takes the lives of thousands of people in an extremely violent and terrifying way, you aren't funny. If you have to use a joke about violence to pander to men, you are not funny. It is never funny to make jokes at the expense of someone being harmed. 

15 year old me deserves better than to be used as a punchline. Survivors everywhere deserve better than to be a punchline. People who have lost their lives deserve to be honored and remembered, not used as a punchline for a pathetic joke that clearly missed the mark. 

Imagine looking a survivor in the eye and trying to explain to them why you found their abuse and trauma comical. Imagine explaining to families that have lost their loved ones to domestic violence that you find violently harming others to be quite funny. Imagine looking at a 15 year old girl and trying to explain why her boyfriend hitting her is funny to you, and that any reaction she has to your ‘joke’ is her being dramatic. 

This boils down to a lack of awareness and a lack of empathy for those affected by domestic violence. I am thrilled that Matt Rife has never had his life touched by domestic violence. I am happy for him that he has never feared for his life from someone who was supposed to love and uplift him. I am glad that he is blissfully unaware of the ramifications of domestic violence.

However, I should not have to expose the details of my abuse to deserve to be respected. I should not have to appeal to someone's humanity to make them understand why making jokes about abuse aren't funny.  

In this instance I will gladly be labeled as “triggered” or “easily offended” or even a “snowflake”, because there is a bigger issue at hand here. When you make jokes  about violence against women, or violence in general, you normalize it. You send a message that as long as it can be used to make a profit, violence is okay and approved by society. By making these jokes you increase the stigma and shame surrounding survivors of abuse. You are actively contributing to the problem. I've also noticed that the only people who jump to call me any of these things are the people who want us to accept and tolerate disrespect under the guise of a “joke”. 

Respectfully, I have survived too much and worked too hard for my experiences to be dismissed in a cheap shot of a joke. I did not fight for my life and fight for a place to share my story so that my experiences could be boiled down to a 2 minute joke with a laugh track superimposed to give the appearance that it was funny. 

I have never felt the need to target someone else’s trauma in an attempt to make the people around me laugh, or to gain their approval. If you are in a position to influence those around you and this is how you choose to do it, what does that say about your character? What kind of legacy do you want to leave? Who do you want to be? What kind of statement are you making for the people who look up to you?

Practice empathy and compassion and do better. 

BE FAST by Hannah Roque

Hello Section 36! My name is Hannah Roque, and I am so thrilled to be back, this time as Miss Addison County 2024! October 29th is World Stroke Day, so I wanted to come and write a bit about my Community Service Initiative and why it’s important.

My Community Service Initiative is centered around stroke awareness and teaching people how to identify the signs of a stroke. In 2018, my step-dad, Trent, had a series of multiple major strokes. We couldn’t recognize the signs at the time, but looking back it’s clear how many signs he was exhibiting. BE FAST is an acronym that can help you remember the signs of a stroke. It stands for:

B - Balance impaired

E - Eyes blurred, vision crossed or doubled

F - Face drooping on one side

A - Arms heavy and unable to lift

S - Speech slurred

T - Time is of the essence, call 911 immediately if you’re experiencing any of these 

      symptoms

This acronym is incredibly important, but you might be wondering why? As someone who’s had multiple family members suffer from a stroke, it’s very clear to me why it’s important. That being said, if you don’t know about strokes or you don’t know anyone who has had one, it can be unclear. The fact of the matter is, anyone can have a stroke. 

Every 40 seconds someone has a stroke. In the time that you can watch a 30 minute episode of your favorite sitcom, 45 people will have had a stroke across the United States. Of those 45 people, 15% - or around 7 people - will be under the age of 50. It’s a very common misconception that strokes only happen to old people who have preexisting health conditions, when in fact anyone of any age with any health conditions (or lack thereof) can have a stroke. Strokes are the 2nd leading cause of death in the United States, and that can largely be attributed to the fact that people don’t know how to identify the signs. 

Throughout my time advocating for stroke awareness, I have met dozens of stroke survivors, many of whom had no idea how to identify the signs prior to their first stroke. My step-dad, Trent, has had a total of three major strokes. Prior to his first, we had no idea how to identify the signs, but knowing BE FAST was instrumental in identifying Trent’s second and third strokes. It was my mother who recognized the signs, and advocated for him to get the proper medical treatment. I’ve built my Community Service Initiative around sharing Trent’s story and teaching people how to identify the signs, because it is so common for signs of a stroke to be misidentified. 

Again, I return to the question, why should you care? The answer: because you or a loved one at any age could have a stroke, and knowing BE FAST could literally save a life. 

If you want to stay up to date on the work that I’m doing with my CSI, you can find me at @missaddisoncountyvt on Instagram. I’ve got some very exciting things coming down the pike, and I can’t wait to share them all with you!! 

Strength - A Series by Arianna Shanks-Hill

Domestic Violence Awareness month is coming to a close, but I want to continue my series of answering questions. This particular question is fine to ask, and I’ve been asked it so many times i felt like i should just create a permanent post detailing the answer. My strength comes from a lot of different things, like the people who share their stories with me and thank me after I’ve been on stage or at an event; but my main strength comes from 15 year old me, and from the woman who raised me, which is exactly what i want to talk about. 

What/who gave you the courage to share your story? 

The Gabby Project originated as my CSI for Miss Banks of the Wabash. I called my mom and started panicking, rambling about how we had to pick a “platform” to advocate for, and how overwhelmed I felt with this idea. I kept saying I didn’t know what i was passionate about or what i wanted to advocate for. I listed off a couple things, like mental health and LGBT representation. She took a deep breath and very calmly said “Ari, you know what your platform is. You know what you need to do”. My mom has always known me well enough to guess my next move, or to guide me through a decision I felt i couldn’t make on my own. After she said it, it seemed so obvious. Of course I was going to pick domestic violence. How could I have even considered anything else? 

Shortly after that I realized that in order to effectively advocate I was going to have to come forward and start speaking about my story; something I hadn’t really done prior. There had always been a handful of people who knew about my abuse and my experiences, but I had 

never publicized it. The morning of the competition I found out I would be telling my story on a stage in front of everyone, not just to a panel of judges in a private room. I called my mom again, panicking even worse this time. She gave me the kind of pep talk only mothers can, and it did provide me with some momentary relief. However, before my private interview I was in tears again. how could I do this? Where was I going to get the courage to be so vulnerable? 

I pulled out my phone and started flipping through pictures in my camera roll, my usual trick to help calm me down and remind me of the people supporting me. I came across a picture of my mom and I, where I couldn’t have been any older than 6. It stopped me dead in my tracks. (I’ll include it in this post somewhere I’m sure, just for reference. ) my mom looked so young in the picture, and yet she looked exhausted. Happy to be with her children, but you could tell she was silently suffering. The kind of suffering that drains the life out of even the brightest people. That picture of her was the last little push I needed; she did everything in her power to get me here, and she didn’t get the opportunity to tell her story. She’d never gotten the closure she deserved, and I had the opportunity to advocate on behalf of both of us. I had to take it. 

My mom experienced domestic violence before I was even born. She found herself in an impossible situation that would’ve forced a lesser person to crumble. She never did. She fought and endured and did everything to give her kids the best life possible. 

She was the blueprint. She is where I get my strength from. She is the reason I stepped up the first time. Her strength carries me through every aspect of my life and she is the foundation of

The Gabby Project (whether she knows it or not). I’ve never seen my mom back down from anything, so I knew I couldn’t back down from sharing my story. When I didn’t have enough courage of my own to stand and speak, my mom let me borrow some of hers until I was ready. 

Some parents beg their children not to publicly speak out about their abuse. I’ve seen it happen firsthand; they become uncomfortable with the idea of causing a fuss, and would rather avoid the attention and the “embarrassment”. My mom never once asked me to be quiet. In fact, she encouraged me to speak up. 

The original push that gave me the confidence to share my story was my mom’s courage. Now, it’s the look on my mom’s face when I speak and advocate. I’ve never seen her so proud. It’s a hard feeling to explain when you see your mom tearing up when you talk. Sometimes it’s like she’s in awe of me, like she can’t believe the person I’ve grown into and the impact that I’m making. Sometimes it’s like she sees herself in me, a young girl who refuses to be broken. It’s indescribable. 

I wish I could hold her hand and stand with her every time I advocate. I wish I could bring her on stage and hug her and say “this is your story too. this is your legacy too”.