Finding My Voice: Turning Pain Into Purpose

By Hailey Caine

One in three women will experience domestic violence in her lifetime. It is a statistic we hear often, but we rarely imagine ourselves living it. I was one of those women. 

I was driven, involved, and excited about my future. At 18, I had just been accepted to college, ready to step into a new chapter of independence and possibility. But what I thought was love slowly became something else, something controlling, isolating, and confusing. 

Abuse does not always begin the way people expect. It does not start with obvious harm. It starts quietly with control, with isolation, and with silence. Over time, I lost pieces of myself. I walked on eggshells, second guessed my words, and slowly became someone I did not recognize. Even then, I questioned whether what I was experiencing was “bad enough” to call abuse. That is the reality for so many. 

I competed in my first pageant when I was just 15, and over the past decade, I worked tirelessly, earning countless awards and first and second runner-up placements along the way. Now, at 25, I have won my first title, Miss Clovis 2026. But even as I celebrated accomplishments on stage, I was navigating a relationship that was slowly taking pieces of me away. I was one of those women who felt herself disappearing in the midst of abuse. Experiencing domestic violence can make a woman doubt herself, question her worth, and feel like she is losing who she is. It can make pursuing your dreams feel impossible when someone is constantly putting you down. 

Winning Miss Clovis became more than an achievement. It became a purpose. It became a way to show other women who have experienced abuse that they can reclaim their power, pursue their goals, and be seen. Through my Community Service Initiative, Hailey’s Voice, I raise awareness, provide resources, and create space for survivors to reclaim their power. I have shared my story in classrooms, at community events, and through a TEDx talk, using every opportunity to educate, inspire, and empower others. 

This journey taught me that resilience is not about avoiding hardship but about showing up, standing tall, and speaking out. The challenges I faced in my relationship gave me the empathy, courage, and determination to advocate for others who may feel trapped or unheard. This June, I will have the honor of competing for Miss California, continuing to use my platform to support survivors and amplify voices that deserve to be heard.

 
I share my story not because it is easy, but because it matters. If even one person feels less alone or finds the courage to seek help, then it is worth it. Survivors are more than a statistic. They are powerful, resilient, and worthy of being heard.

We all have a role to play. Pay attention. Ask the hard questions. Create spaces where people feel safe to speak. 

As I continue my journey as a titleholder and advocate, I am committed to turning pain into purpose and using my voice to uplift others. Together, we can break the silence, raise awareness, and create lasting change. 

Because love should never hurt.

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Hailey Caine is the current Miss Clovis (CA). You can follow her on Instagram, and her CSI Hailey's Voice. 

This is her first guest blog for Section 36 Forevers.