By the time I was 9 years old, my mom and I were the same shoe size. That awkward growth spurt was little Niya’s dream come true, because that finally meant I could fit into her heels. I would often play dress up in my mother’s closet, draping on any clothes she’d allow me to, waiting for the day I could finally take my fashion show beyond the living room. Growing up, dressing up was always celebrated, so it was a challenge for me as an adult when I felt like I had lost that joy.
There was a time when I felt like I had no style, but truthfully it was because I suppressed it in order to survive. For 5 years, I was in an abusive relationship where it was common for my past partner to control and criticize me, even down to what I would wear. Constant comments and backlash about the outfits I put together quickly taught me that if I dressed myself down, there would be less issues. I began to stop reaching for dresses and heels, until eventually I got rid of my personal style all together.
6 months ago, I left that relationship and ended up back home with my family. I remember being so happy to be home, but also having a lot less clothes to wear too. Fortunately, my mom welcomed me with open arms and with an open closet also. To experience that child-like wonder again of rummaging through drawers and experimenting with looks and accessories, brought back that joy and healing I needed. Habitually, I’d check my mom’s closet before every appearance, mock interview, and even on headshot day just to see how I could elevate my look.
Styling myself became fun again as I allowed myself to get creative and plan outfits for competition week. But there was still one look that was the hardest to find… my evening gown. For WEEKS, I searched in store after store, falling in love with many beautiful dresses, but not feeling like I found the right one. I wanted something that reflected this new chapter I’m in: combining my newfound style, while still having this sense of familiarity. It's no surprise that I found my dress when I finally went shopping with my mom. As soon as I tried it on, it was so clear that we found it. It fit like a dream while still having the features I was hoping for in a gown.
The best part? After securing the gown and heading home, my friend pointed out a strange coincidence. My evening gown’s color, silhouette, and fabric mirrored one of my favorite dresses that has sat in my mom’s closet for years. Neither of us had noticed this when we bought it! Discovering this similarity verified my decision for me, and the gown felt even more special. This unintentional match added a layer of sentiment to my choice, making my evening gown not just a fashion statement, but a connection to the woman whose style has always inspired me.
The thing is, my mom’s closet is just iconic. What makes a room full of clothes and shoes so special? The woman who collected them. My mom’s closet has grown with her for decades, and it represents all the seasons of life she’s gone through. Sneakers, platforms, heels, lace, leather, denim, and suede all in the same place— some of the items older than me, but all in good care. I hope to achieve this level of preservation in my self-expression as I build my wardrobe back up. More importantly, I’m so grateful for the impact my mom has made in reviving my personal style.
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