By Hannah Karki
Hi guys, know you missed me, and welcome back to another blog post. If you don’t already know me, I am Hannah Karki, a local Vermonter studying music education with a double minor of psychology and special education at the University of Vermont, and I am also your reigning Teen Petite USA and former Teen New England Petite.
Today, I would like to talk to you about the emotions behind winning and what my life looked like after I won in that 24 hour period.
I’m going to be completely honest, winning is a blur. I can remember placing Top 5 and almost falling over from pride and excitement. I remember waiting to be called as a runner up, and not hearing my name, but everytime one was called I would move, since I am so used to being one from my past.
I remember being shocked not placing third, and standing in the center of the stage and thinking to myself, what is happening. My interview was a blur, it felt like my on stage question just came out with no thoughts, and I was quite lost for words at this point. I was already crying because I was proud of getting to the place I was.
I think I almost fell over when I was called the winner. One, I was telling the girl in front of me it was all her, ready to take the 1st runner up with pride. Two, I was on so much caffeine my body just gave in since I didn’t sleep at all. And three, I saw my favorite girl, Cassie, sobbing in the crowd when I won.
I remember standing there, holding her hands, and thinking about how far I had come from the beginning of this journey.
4 years ago, 14 year old Hannah didn’t even know what mascara was, let alone how to walk in 6 inch heels, what an evening gown was, or how to straighten my hair. I competed in my first pageant with no experience, a dress I was borrowing from a former queen, and heels I didn’t know how to correctly walk in. I remember practically running across the stage, so fast that they couldn’t even photograph me correctly. I remember looking back at the photos and my family telling me how fast I walked.
Over the next year, I found a coach, grounded my interview skills, and suddenly got bangs, which I highly don’t recommend. I found my purpose, which was my platform, Safespace, and expanded my knowledge of cosmetic artistry, as well as my walking skills and style choices.
In 2022, I placed 3rd place, my first ever placement in a pageant. I felt so accomplished that all my hard work had finally brought me to a place where my work was being seen and understood. I quickly rebounded, and got ready to compete again in November of 2022, where I placed 2nd place in my third pageant.
All of these moments created the woman who was standing in the top two, with all of the younger versions of herself cheering her on. We had outdone what our younger self could have dreamed of. Winning New England was enough in itself. I never thought I could win a national pageant as a 5 foot 2 woman of color. All the battles the younger version of me went through felt final when I didn’t hear my name as first runner up.
I remember looking around and screaming. I saw my pageant Mom, Cassie, practically flop over in her seat, my director Leah sobbing, and my family all crying. I remember looking around and thinking, this can’t be real, I am going to wake up in a minute and it will be finals day all over again. I remember Faith Claire, the previous Teen Petite USA, telling me to squat down so she could crown me because I had no idea what to do. I remember grabbing Kira, the Miss Petite USA’s hand while I was being crowned because I couldn’t stop shaking and flailing around.
As they snapped photos of me, I remember hearing, “Take your first walk”’, which turned more into a hobble across the stage because I had cried so much I couldn't see the stage in front of me.
Then, I was sent backstage to get my hair and makeup touched up. I remember I kept crying in between them fixing my face. I was put back on stage to meet my new sisters, Angelica, Victoria, Lafaye, and Amy Jo. I remember thinking about smacking myself because it still didn’t feel real. I had the worst headache imaginable, and I remember looking at the judges and mouthing, thank you.
We took our official crowning photos and top 5 photos on the stage, and I remember immediately jumping off the stage in my 6 inch heels,(don't try this at home), and hugging Cassie and my family. I remember taking photos with my New England Petite family, and then top 5 photos.
Then, we were all taken to get our official photos done. I remember when I was waiting for my hair and makeup, I had 6 zillion texts from all different social media apps, I had to stop notifications on Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat, and even Messenger. I kept my text messages on, and I am grateful I did. I remember seeing a text pop up from my best friend, and it was a video of four of my close friends watching my win. They all started jumping up and down and screaming. I remember I started to sob, (this was the 14th time of the night), and my makeup and hair artist gave me a minute to breathe because I was so grateful for the relationships I had made.
I remember sitting there, and thinking this was all a dream. We had our hair and makeup done by the amazing Just Right Cosmetics, and our photos taken by the incredible Magic Dreams Productions, or Matty. I felt like I was walking on a cloud, wearing the crown and the sash felt like a daydream I was going to wake up from. I remember taking the crown and sash shots and the group shots and wondering how a 12 year old me would feel if I told her we would become a national titleholder one day, inspiring the next generation of petite women that being who you are is all you need to succeed.
I remember trying to go to sleep after I won, at 1 am, knowing I had to wake up in a few hours to catch my flight to go home. I couldn’t stop thinking about how this is what I have been waiting for. I remember thinking how I would have missed all of this journey if I had followed through with my attempt when I was 12 years old.
This journey has truly made me feel like I have a purpose. I think that was the thing I struggled with years ago. Knowing that I had a place on this Earth, with a plan to succeed in being who I was. I spent too much time trying to fulfill everyone else’s dreams for me, when I didn’t know what I truly wanted to do with my life. Now, I know that I want to be a positive figure for humans across the world, showing that their battle with mental health doesn't have to define who they are, and that their beginning to themselves is just starting, as well as inspiring young women of color to follow what their heart truly desires. If you got it, you got it.
All in all, your journey is something to be proud of, even if you feel embarrassed by it. You don’t know who is struggling around you, and how your story could affect others watching you. Every single person on this Earth has an experience, talent, or expertise that makes them important, no matter if they know it or not.
All in all, your journey is something to be proud of, even if you feel embarrassed by it. You don’t know who is struggling around you, and how your story could affect others watching you. Every single person on this Earth has an experience, talent, or expertise that makes them important, no matter if they know it or not.
Never doubt yourself, because you are going in the right direction, I promise. Keep fighting for you and who you are always.
If you haven’t told someone how important they are to you today, go tell them!
With love and gratitude always,
Your friend,
Han
Hannah Karki
Teen Petite USA and Teen New England Petite USA 2024
Teen Petite USA and Teen New England Petite USA 2024
Photo Credits: Matty Jacobson, Slay Your Moment Photography
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