Gratitude in a Time of Great Expectations by Jude Maboné

Andy Jones

As the year comes to a close and I simultaneously prepare to submit my business school applications and head to Miss America, it would be easy to miss the beauty of my present reality in the whirlwind of stress and emotions that accompany big life events. I am one of fifty-one women who will have the honor of competing at Miss America 2024. Wow. This dream that stemmed from a time in my life where I went to bed thinking each night would be my last is finally realized after nine years and seven “state” competitions.

2023 was the most challenging and transformative year of my life. I entered this year asking God for really big yeses and it feels like He has opened doors for me personally and professionally that I had spent nearly a decade trying to kick down. I knew that I needed my life to change, but the experiences that I’ve had, the people I’ve met and the way my perspective has shifted far exceeds what I’d prayed for. 

Many wonderful things have happened to me, and I feel immense gratitude as I reflect on how much my life has changed since January and the ways I’ve been able to scale my impact. It has been the honor of my lifetime these last six months representing our nation’s capital and the community of people who live here and are often overlooked. I can see the tangible change we’ve made in such a short time providing our most vulnerable neighbors with access to CPR and AED education, and resources for heart healthy living thanks to my partnerships with MedStar Health and the American Heart Association. 

This year was, without a doubt, one of the happiest of my life, but it was also one of the most challenging. I’ve grieved, made tough decisions, and have made many sacrifices. Yet as I reflect, I am reminded that what makes life so precious is that blend of joy and pain. We can simultaneously grieve and celebrate and that’s what makes being human so special. I will carry that sentiment with me to Orlando.

In three weeks, I may or may not become Miss America 2024 and I am content with that. I would love to end the eighty year drought for DC (the last Miss DC to win was Venus Ramey in 1944, only the second Miss DC to win since Margaret Gorman, the first Miss America in 1921), collaborate with Miss America HQ on how to grow the brand (I’m an aspiring brand manager), and have the opportunity to represent the 125.5 million Americans like me who are living with heart disease as Miss America. But I’m also already implementing the impact I want to make now. Miss America aside, I am a leader in my community and am making the world safer and heart healthier every day. I am excited for whomever will earn the honor of being Miss America and feel blessed to be in a position where she will be either myself or one of my new friends.

 

So, as the year ends and I finally have the opportunity to take the stage, I am filled with gratitude, peace, and a healthy dose of humility. I believe that my God has me in His hands and that the outcome will go exactly according to His will and that’s a really satisfying place to be. My focus in Orlando will be to inspire others to relentlessly pursue their dreams, take risks and live in the “today.” 

DC, I cannot wait to represent you on the national stage. Thank you to all who have invested in me to get me to this moment. Orlando, here we come. I’ve never been more ready and I couldn’t be happier. 

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I can't thank Jude enough for sharing her first guest blog. You can learn more about her by checking out her interview with us on Section 36.

Domestic Violence Isn’t Funny by Arianna Shanks-Hill

Last week, in an effort to de-stress, I turned on the new comedy special Netflix recommended. 

The opening joke was a domestic violence joke. I got 5 minutes into this special and immediately turned it off. The point of the joke was to say that a woman being physically harmed was funny; to make a mockery of the dehumanization and degradation that men inflict on women. The comedian even went so far as to claim that if the woman in the joke could cook, she wouldn't have been brutalized as badly. 

I understand that comedy is subjective. I know all about dark humor, and about how sometimes the shock of a punchline is what makes it funny. 

What I think people fail to understand, however, is that it's not okay to poke fun at a demographic that you are not a part of. It’s not okay to use someone else’s experience as the butt of your joke.

Domestic violence is not funny. Abuse is not funny. Harming another living being is not funny. If you have to stoop to a level of making a mockery of something that takes the lives of thousands of people in an extremely violent and terrifying way, you aren't funny. If you have to use a joke about violence to pander to men, you are not funny. It is never funny to make jokes at the expense of someone being harmed. 

15 year old me deserves better than to be used as a punchline. Survivors everywhere deserve better than to be a punchline. People who have lost their lives deserve to be honored and remembered, not used as a punchline for a pathetic joke that clearly missed the mark. 

Imagine looking a survivor in the eye and trying to explain to them why you found their abuse and trauma comical. Imagine explaining to families that have lost their loved ones to domestic violence that you find violently harming others to be quite funny. Imagine looking at a 15 year old girl and trying to explain why her boyfriend hitting her is funny to you, and that any reaction she has to your ‘joke’ is her being dramatic. 

This boils down to a lack of awareness and a lack of empathy for those affected by domestic violence. I am thrilled that Matt Rife has never had his life touched by domestic violence. I am happy for him that he has never feared for his life from someone who was supposed to love and uplift him. I am glad that he is blissfully unaware of the ramifications of domestic violence.

However, I should not have to expose the details of my abuse to deserve to be respected. I should not have to appeal to someone's humanity to make them understand why making jokes about abuse aren't funny.  

In this instance I will gladly be labeled as “triggered” or “easily offended” or even a “snowflake”, because there is a bigger issue at hand here. When you make jokes  about violence against women, or violence in general, you normalize it. You send a message that as long as it can be used to make a profit, violence is okay and approved by society. By making these jokes you increase the stigma and shame surrounding survivors of abuse. You are actively contributing to the problem. I've also noticed that the only people who jump to call me any of these things are the people who want us to accept and tolerate disrespect under the guise of a “joke”. 

Respectfully, I have survived too much and worked too hard for my experiences to be dismissed in a cheap shot of a joke. I did not fight for my life and fight for a place to share my story so that my experiences could be boiled down to a 2 minute joke with a laugh track superimposed to give the appearance that it was funny. 

I have never felt the need to target someone else’s trauma in an attempt to make the people around me laugh, or to gain their approval. If you are in a position to influence those around you and this is how you choose to do it, what does that say about your character? What kind of legacy do you want to leave? Who do you want to be? What kind of statement are you making for the people who look up to you?

Practice empathy and compassion and do better. 

BE FAST by Hannah Roque

Hello Section 36! My name is Hannah Roque, and I am so thrilled to be back, this time as Miss Addison County 2024! October 29th is World Stroke Day, so I wanted to come and write a bit about my Community Service Initiative and why it’s important.

My Community Service Initiative is centered around stroke awareness and teaching people how to identify the signs of a stroke. In 2018, my step-dad, Trent, had a series of multiple major strokes. We couldn’t recognize the signs at the time, but looking back it’s clear how many signs he was exhibiting. BE FAST is an acronym that can help you remember the signs of a stroke. It stands for:

B - Balance impaired

E - Eyes blurred, vision crossed or doubled

F - Face drooping on one side

A - Arms heavy and unable to lift

S - Speech slurred

T - Time is of the essence, call 911 immediately if you’re experiencing any of these 

      symptoms

This acronym is incredibly important, but you might be wondering why? As someone who’s had multiple family members suffer from a stroke, it’s very clear to me why it’s important. That being said, if you don’t know about strokes or you don’t know anyone who has had one, it can be unclear. The fact of the matter is, anyone can have a stroke. 

Every 40 seconds someone has a stroke. In the time that you can watch a 30 minute episode of your favorite sitcom, 45 people will have had a stroke across the United States. Of those 45 people, 15% - or around 7 people - will be under the age of 50. It’s a very common misconception that strokes only happen to old people who have preexisting health conditions, when in fact anyone of any age with any health conditions (or lack thereof) can have a stroke. Strokes are the 2nd leading cause of death in the United States, and that can largely be attributed to the fact that people don’t know how to identify the signs. 

Throughout my time advocating for stroke awareness, I have met dozens of stroke survivors, many of whom had no idea how to identify the signs prior to their first stroke. My step-dad, Trent, has had a total of three major strokes. Prior to his first, we had no idea how to identify the signs, but knowing BE FAST was instrumental in identifying Trent’s second and third strokes. It was my mother who recognized the signs, and advocated for him to get the proper medical treatment. I’ve built my Community Service Initiative around sharing Trent’s story and teaching people how to identify the signs, because it is so common for signs of a stroke to be misidentified. 

Again, I return to the question, why should you care? The answer: because you or a loved one at any age could have a stroke, and knowing BE FAST could literally save a life. 

If you want to stay up to date on the work that I’m doing with my CSI, you can find me at @missaddisoncountyvt on Instagram. I’ve got some very exciting things coming down the pike, and I can’t wait to share them all with you!! 

Strength - A Series by Arianna Shanks-Hill

Domestic Violence Awareness month is coming to a close, but I want to continue my series of answering questions. This particular question is fine to ask, and I’ve been asked it so many times i felt like i should just create a permanent post detailing the answer. My strength comes from a lot of different things, like the people who share their stories with me and thank me after I’ve been on stage or at an event; but my main strength comes from 15 year old me, and from the woman who raised me, which is exactly what i want to talk about. 

What/who gave you the courage to share your story? 

The Gabby Project originated as my CSI for Miss Banks of the Wabash. I called my mom and started panicking, rambling about how we had to pick a “platform” to advocate for, and how overwhelmed I felt with this idea. I kept saying I didn’t know what i was passionate about or what i wanted to advocate for. I listed off a couple things, like mental health and LGBT representation. She took a deep breath and very calmly said “Ari, you know what your platform is. You know what you need to do”. My mom has always known me well enough to guess my next move, or to guide me through a decision I felt i couldn’t make on my own. After she said it, it seemed so obvious. Of course I was going to pick domestic violence. How could I have even considered anything else? 

Shortly after that I realized that in order to effectively advocate I was going to have to come forward and start speaking about my story; something I hadn’t really done prior. There had always been a handful of people who knew about my abuse and my experiences, but I had 

never publicized it. The morning of the competition I found out I would be telling my story on a stage in front of everyone, not just to a panel of judges in a private room. I called my mom again, panicking even worse this time. She gave me the kind of pep talk only mothers can, and it did provide me with some momentary relief. However, before my private interview I was in tears again. how could I do this? Where was I going to get the courage to be so vulnerable? 

I pulled out my phone and started flipping through pictures in my camera roll, my usual trick to help calm me down and remind me of the people supporting me. I came across a picture of my mom and I, where I couldn’t have been any older than 6. It stopped me dead in my tracks. (I’ll include it in this post somewhere I’m sure, just for reference. ) my mom looked so young in the picture, and yet she looked exhausted. Happy to be with her children, but you could tell she was silently suffering. The kind of suffering that drains the life out of even the brightest people. That picture of her was the last little push I needed; she did everything in her power to get me here, and she didn’t get the opportunity to tell her story. She’d never gotten the closure she deserved, and I had the opportunity to advocate on behalf of both of us. I had to take it. 

My mom experienced domestic violence before I was even born. She found herself in an impossible situation that would’ve forced a lesser person to crumble. She never did. She fought and endured and did everything to give her kids the best life possible. 

She was the blueprint. She is where I get my strength from. She is the reason I stepped up the first time. Her strength carries me through every aspect of my life and she is the foundation of

The Gabby Project (whether she knows it or not). I’ve never seen my mom back down from anything, so I knew I couldn’t back down from sharing my story. When I didn’t have enough courage of my own to stand and speak, my mom let me borrow some of hers until I was ready. 

Some parents beg their children not to publicly speak out about their abuse. I’ve seen it happen firsthand; they become uncomfortable with the idea of causing a fuss, and would rather avoid the attention and the “embarrassment”. My mom never once asked me to be quiet. In fact, she encouraged me to speak up. 

The original push that gave me the confidence to share my story was my mom’s courage. Now, it’s the look on my mom’s face when I speak and advocate. I’ve never seen her so proud. It’s a hard feeling to explain when you see your mom tearing up when you talk. Sometimes it’s like she’s in awe of me, like she can’t believe the person I’ve grown into and the impact that I’m making. Sometimes it’s like she sees herself in me, a young girl who refuses to be broken. It’s indescribable. 

I wish I could hold her hand and stand with her every time I advocate. I wish I could bring her on stage and hug her and say “this is your story too. this is your legacy too”.

Committing to Confidence - a Blog Series by Katelyn Andrist

 

Be the woman you would look up to.

-Katelyn Andrist 

Purchase "Becoming Confident"

Katelyn's Book

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Other ways Katelyn and S36 Forevers have "Committed to Confidence"

Guest Blog Series Committing to Confidence

Interview Katelyn's visit with Section 36

Guest Blog To the Young Woman Going Through Sorority Recruitment

Guest Blog To the Person Who Hasn't Been Themselves Lately

There Will Be Joy by Arianna Shanks-Hill

By this point, my story is well known. Everyone knows that I have experienced domestic violence and the way that it has impacted me. You know about my advocacy and my passion and you’ve seen my posts. You know the warning signs of abuse, how to get help, what triggers are and how they can occur, what resources are available; you even know my answers to some pretty personal questions. But today let’s talk about the things that can occur after abuse. Let’s talk about the hope and the joy that are waiting on the other side of an abusive relationship. 

When I was 15, 16, 17, I thought my abusive relationship was going to last forever. I thought that was what my life was going to be like. Miserable, hurting, confused, afraid. It didn’t seem like there was a light at the end of the tunnel. So this post is for that girl, and for anyone else that thinks their abuse is all there is to life. 

There is so much joy coming. You will laugh until your stomach hurts, and smile so big you think your face will freeze that way. You will make friends who wrap you in kindness, love, and support. You will reconnect with all the people you were isolated from for so long; they missed you dearly and will welcome you back with open arms. You will be respected, adored, and uplifted by the people around you. You will be taken care of and treated with compassion. No one will treat you like a victim or a burden. There are people who want to understand what you’ve been through to help you work through it, so they can love you to the best of their ability. 

You will find things that bring you joy again. You will find your old hobbies that used to bring you to life and they will fulfill you all over again. You’ll try new things and create a capacity for love and light that you never knew was attainable. You’ll rediscover yourself and realize you love her so dearly. You will regain the ability to fail without allowing it to label you a failure. Your confidence will come back, as will your lust for life. You will find unimaginable strength as well as an incomparable gentleness that separates you from your abuser with a gap they can never close. 

You will experience days that are completely free from trauma triggers and reminders of your abuser. It will be so beautiful, and you won’t even realize it. There will be days when you do experience triggers, and you will fight through them with such tenacity and grace. These heavier days will be even more beautiful than your lighter days. 

All of this to say that there is hope and joy on its way to you. The beauty around you will no longer fade while you exist in survival mode. You will be vibrant and full of life and give love so freely that you shine as a light to everyone around you. 

You can look through these pictures and see the joy in my face. You can see how the light has come back to my eyes and how genuine my smile is. The girl you see in this post is a stranger to the girl I was at 15, which is simultaneously amazing and tragic. I wish 15 year old me knew what was coming for her. I wish anyone experiencing abuse knew how promising their future is. 

It took me a long time to get to the other side of all that the abuse did to me. I muddled through the anger and the pain and the fear and did everything I could to find the light. I still have a long way to go, and healing is never linear. Although I know I will never be able to go back to the person I used to be, I am so proud of the person I have fought to become. 

It has been a beautiful fight; it still is. 

You can never go back and undo what was done, but you can find hope in the fact that you can rebuild yourself into a person that is untouchable. 

If you’re not sure that there is a life on the other side of your abuse, and that fear keeps you from leaving, this is your sign. There is hope and joy and love waiting for you. There are people waiting to care for you. There are places that stand still until you walk in. Everything you’re wanting exists on the other side of that fear. Let hope give you the courage to fight for a better life.

 

From Lab Coats to Crowns….. Bio student turned beauty queen? - A Blog from Anushree Patel

As a biology student at the University of Texas, I was accustomed to the world of microscopes and scientific inquiry. The allure of the pageant world seemed worlds apart from my daily life. After all, how could I – spending countless hours in research labs, hospitals, and STEM classes – be crowned? 

Initially, I struggled with the seeming incompatibility of these two worlds. One involves poise, glamor, the art of presentation, while the other is grounded in scientific inquiry, complex research, and intellectual challenge. But I realized the differences between these worlds didn’t have to be mutually exclusive. 

One of the most rewarding aspects of Miss America is the opportunity to platform for change. My academic background allowed me to champion causes close to my heart, such as volunteerism, healthcare awareness, and the promotion of STEM education. Conducting a news interview with NBC and supporting funruns for medical research further allowed me to encourage living healthy lifestyles – tying into Miss America’s new fitness initiative. 

The title of Miss East Texas is one that has transformed my life! From schools to libraries to fashion shows and everything in between, I’ve had the privilege of connecting with communities all across Texas. My hope is that people from all walks of life are empowered to volunteer through their own skills and passions.

The journey from a biology student to a pageant queen has been an extraordinary ride filled with valuable life lessons, personal growth, and the opportunity to make a positive impact. It taught me that passion, determination, and a unique perspective can transform what seems unconventional into an inspiring journey. If you've ever had a dream that seems to clash with your current path, remember that it's possible to blend the two into a beautiful, meaningful story. The unexpected intersections between science and glamor can create something truly special, reminding us that we are not defined by a single role, but by the sum of our passions and experiences.

You really can achieve anything you put your mind to – even if it seems like a 360 degree opposite. If that means memorizing chemistry compounds backstage before performing, so be it! 

Anushree Patel,

Miss East Texas 2023